The above is a quote from Mother Teresa. What it means is that when someone is emotionally down, or at their wits end, the last thing they need is advice or criticism—a lecture, if you will. Instead, they need a hug—comfort, support, and understanding from someone who cares. For example, I was watching my son when he was very young. He had been crying for quite a while and I didn’t know how to deal with this. Just then a colleague of mine stopped by who was a nonparent and an expert in psychology. The doorbell distracted my son, and he temporarily stopped crying. When my son resumed his crying, I reached down to pick him up. At this point, my colleague smugly said, “You know that by picking him up, you’re just reinforcing the crying.” He offered criticism and advice when I needed a hug, and it made me feel inadequate and depressed. It also made me feel angry because as a nonparent, he was in no position to give advice. So, be that person who cares by listening, showing empathy and letting them know that you are their friend. This will give them the confidence, courage, and determination they need to get through their difficult time, and it will greatly strengthen your friendship.
Recommended Reading
Leading from the Back: To Achieve The Impossible
Are you looking for a leadership model that is uncomplicated, easy to use and produces amazing results? If so, then Leading from the Back is for you! In it you will find everything you need to become a superstar leader. You will learn how to earn respect from your team members and help them in achieving the impossible. No more learning about numerous principles and laws of leadership. Just a three-part model that has an amazing track record of proven success.
Through an engaging parable about the travails of an upcoming young manager, Shiv Kundra, whose leadership style hampers both his ability to lead and his ability to deliver, the authors outline the fascinating concept of ‘leading from the back’.
Leading from the Back is a distillation of the collective experience and wisdom of Ravi Kant (former CEO, vice chairman, Tata Motors), Harry Paul (co-author of the bestseller FISH! A Proven Way to Boost Morale and Improve Results) and Ross Reck (co-author of The Win-Win Negotiator).
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