An article in the New York Times by David Brooks points out that many of us have a strong reluctance to talk to strangers; especially in places like airplanes, commuter trains, airports or when we’re standing in line. Some of the reasons for this include that we think it will be awkward, dull, trying and not at all enjoyable. The reason we think this way is we tend to underestimate how much we will enjoy such encounters and how positively the stranger will respond. We tend to think that when a stranger is looking at us when we initiate a conversation that they’re assessing “our competence” as David Brooks writes. The reality is, they’re not assessing our competence at all. He writes, “They’re thinking about your warmth. Do you seem friendly, kind, and trustworthy? They just want to know you care.” Knowing this should remove some of our reluctance when it comes to talking with strangers which will make our lives richer and lots more fun.
One Sentence Wisdom
- “Good things happen when you meet strangers.” — Yo-Yo Ma
- “There are no strangers here; Only friends you haven’t yet met.” — William Butler Yeats
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